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    February 02

    Online playtime

    As i'm sure you all know, the world has gone poker mad.
    It's on about 3-4 different tv channels, and hundreds of web casinos have arrived on the web over the past few years.
     
    I'm not big on gambling, but every now & then i'll bet a few pounds on the weekend football matches. So i wouldn't think about adding bank details to an online casino (too easy to just credit your account for a few games here or there).
     
    I do enjoy a game of poker but playing on most online casinos for play money had lost it's fun.
     
    Not anymore.
    I came across www.888.com and pacific poker! What a blast.
    The best thing is that you can set up a real money account without having to enter you bank details. All you need is your name , address and email details.
    Every day/night they have "Freeroll tournaments", these cost you nothing to enter, and you get the chance to win some big prizes & cash. (.....and it doesn't cost you a thing!)
     
    So, if you want to lean how to play, practice against other players online or enter the free games then click on the picture. (Hope to see you at the tables!) 
     
    February 01

    Some Top Tips from the Viz

    DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

     

    CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a p*ss before the film starts.

     

    RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

     

    DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

     

    RED WINE DRINKERS Worried that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night of drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.

     

    SOLDIERS Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.

     

    MURDERERS Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.

     

    BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

     

    EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

     

    MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

     

    GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

     

    BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.

     

    BLIND PEOPLE Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.

     

    ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness.

     

    DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

     

    PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

     

    CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

     

    MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

     

    JEREMY Beadle When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in your bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser disks.

     

    SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

     

    SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

     

    BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

     

    ALCOHOLICS don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

     

    McDonald’s Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

     

     

    January 15

    A New Year

    ...and with it comes a new blog. 
     
     
    Check it out if you get the chance, it's listed over to the right side under "Behind Green Eyes"
     
     
    Happy 2006 everyone!
    August 12

    What pisses dogs off

  • When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
  • Blaming your farts on me... not funny.
  • Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
  • How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat?)
  • Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. (Exactly whose walk is this anyway?)
  • Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.....stop it. I mean..........c'mon already!.
  • Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
  • Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
  • How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
  • Dog sweaters. Have you noticed my fur?
  • Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
  • When you insist on picking up the piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
  • Taking me to the vet for ?the big snip?, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.
  • The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. Wow, you fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
  • Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
  • August 08

    Well it's soon time for a holiday......

    ...... and it looks like we'll be going over to Sweden for 10 days. Maya will get to meet the rest of the family & friends, so i'm sure that we'll have a lot of photos to post when we get back.
     
    On a matter closer to home now, i've never felt the urge or need to watch any of the Big Brother shows in the past, yet this time i'm cheering for someone to win (and even voting). I'm sure that it has something to do with Sara having the show on E4 nearly all the time. (She even told me that during the day she leaves it on to let Maya think we have people in the house)
     
     
    Anyway, time to get voting people.
    text EUGENE to 64404
    (35p plus your STD network rate)
    call 09016 16 16 14
    (calls cost 35p, mobile and other network rates may vary)
    hit your red button to vote on digital cable and satellite TV
    (votes cost 35p)
    July 27

    It's been a long time.

    Last night i was shocked when i spoke with my daughter Rachel on the phone.

    It was an unexpected joy.

    I wish we could have talked for longer, i have so much to ask her and i'm sure she has a lot to ask me too, but Maya was crying and we had to cut the conversation short.

     I hope we will talk again real soon.

    July 23

    Ever felt like this?

    Just Click on the picture below.
    July 17

    Countdown has begun

    Well not long to go now until the Great Scottish Run!
     
    I'll be running in the 10K event this year for the Everyman Charity which is part of the Cancer Research Group.
    I'll be adding a link on this page asap that will allow you to donate direct to the charity. So if you can donate anything i thank you in advance.
     
    This will be a challange for me, simply because it's the first real sports event i've done since my bike crash in 2003, so i hope the pins in my hip can take the pounding.
     
    http://www.justgiving.com/please_donate
    July 16

    Your now listening to..........

    Jack Johnson.

    BREAKING NEWS !!!

    I've been told that the " Big Cheese" is coming!!

     

    Not sure who or indeed what the "Big Cheese" is, but i'm sure it'll be worth the wait. I'll keep you all posted. 

     

     

    July 12

    Something that really gets my goat......

    ....is when reading a profile of someone and they discribe themself as "a bit mad" or "crazy" !! 

    What the hell, are these people locked up under section 8??   Are they foaming at the mouth?   Do they wear white jackets that tie up at the back? (and if so,who gave them accsess to the Net?)

    No i don't belive they do, it's just an attempt to convince themselves that they are a bit different from the mainstream crowd. 

    Awww, bless them. I'm sure if they look into themselves they will realise that they are very different from everyone else they know.

     So please don't be discribing yourself as "mad" in any way. Thanks.

    July 09

    Double Birthday BBQ

    Today it's my sister Fathom & my mums birthday BBQ bash.
    Let's just hope that the Scottish weather will stay nice and dry today, 'cos let's face it, an indoor BBQ is never as good.
     
    This is my first BBQ in the UK for god knows how long, i've had a few in Crete & Rhodes. I'm sure todays menu will not have any Goats eyes or brains tho.
     
    I'm sure will have a great time.  
     
    We got mum a Sony Ericsson T630 mobile, she has been wanting a  camera phone for a while now. Wonder how long until she can use it properly??
     
    July 03

    You know you want to.......

    HOT or NOT
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    Rate me!
    June 20

    PokerStars.com Free Tourney

    Tonight at 8pm GMT i will be entering the first of 4 online events with the final on Saturday 26th June. The overall winner will get a seat at the World Poker Championships in Las Vegas all paid for. *Sweet*

    The top two winners from each event from now until Friday night will be in the final on Saturday afternoon.

    If you want to enter it's free. Head over to www.metro.co.uk and click on Competitions. The details of how to join are on the site. (Only for UK residents)

    Fingers crossed, i've never played poker online before. 

    Wish me luck.

    June 18

    Many hours spent online

    I'm sure that another reason for me having bags under my eyes is something to do with the amount of time i spend playing Football Manager 2005 Online.

    It's always just one more match to play then we'll save the game, but it never works out that way. But online play is great fun & the player i'm up against (Micheal Bakker) puts up a real good challenge. I'm sure it's because he's from the home of Total Football and nothing to do with the fact that he supports Ajax.

    Let's see if you can beat me to the title next season as losing on the last day must hurt.

    June 14

    Lack of sleep starts to catch up with me

    I'm not sure if it's being back at work or Maya waking more during the night for food, or maybe it's a combination of the two. Whatever it is i feel drained. Super sleepy.

    I start to wake up at about 3-4pm (but i start work at 8-9am)

    I'm hoping this will pass soon before i pass out at my desk at work.

     

    June 09

    Will it never end?

    Work, the final frontier...................... will my shift never end??

    It seems that each day grows longer and longer, i know that the hours i'm working are still the same but the day is just dragging in now. I've even stopped wearing a watch to work in an attempt to make time pass quicker, but i have the time in the bottom corner of my pc screen so that idea is not working as well as hoped!

    This Sunday Mayas' godmother arrives from Sweden for a few days. It will be good for Sara and Maya to have company while i'm sitting here at my desk. I'm hoping they will be out and about in the city for lunch (that way i can get to see Maya for a hug), as being in the house all the time is making Sara very sleepy and a bit of fresh air will do them good. So i hope the weather will be good for them.

    Maya was checked today and she is now 9lbs 12oz !! That's one healthy baby!! (must be all the breast milk!)

    Anyway..................   back to work.